When we were kids, mom and dad would hide Easter candy around the house. It was a fun adventure to find and fill our baskets. One year, several weeks had passed, and we found a chocolate piece on a heat register behind the couch. It was melted and pretty sad looking and can’t believe we didn’t find it during our search.

It got me thinking about who are the people in my life that are hidden, forgotten, and a bit sad right now. I think it’s too easy to dismiss the ones that WE should be searching for before they melt away.

Let me share a couple things that I’ve learned from this side of a health journey. I have been so blessed by family and friends. I have had SO many people reach out with care and prayers. I feel very supported and lifted up by people, many I haven’t heard from in a long time. My dad was at an exercise class where he lives and the instructor asked him what was wrong, he could see in his eyes that he was sad. Dad shared a bit about my health stuff and the instructor said, “Tell Bruce that when I tuck my kids in tonight, we’ll pray for him.” Really? How amazing is that?

I’ve had people share survivor stories, which create hope, but remember that every journey is different. Also, if someone has an unrelated health diagnosis, it isn’t really helpful to hear someone recovered from an ailment completely unconnected to the person’s illness. It’s also not helpful to tell the person that you’ve had or a relative has had something worse. Sorry for them, but this is my health path that feels overwhelming enough at times. Just express your care, and, if you are willing, pray for them.

I went into a doctor’s office and the nurse asked how I was doing. I said, “You know, I’m not really doing very well today.” The nurse went on to tell how she and her husband had a wonderful hiking weekend, that they found a wooly caterpillar, so wondered what the winter would bring…. Please listen. Sometimes we have crappy days, some days are good, some are meh. Don’t have a response to your question already geared up.

Many people offer to help and I truly know many I could call or text and they’d respond immediately. Sometimes there just isn’t anything I need right now. It doesn’t mean I’ve dismissed the offer; just nothing needed at the moment. It’s also helpful to offer something specific. I have had two friends say they’ll come over to handle snow removal, which is perfect. I will need drivers after my transplant, and several have offered to step in. Wonderful.

I’ve also learned that I get self-centered. I think it’s okay at times. I need to protect myself. For this segment of time, I’m trying to navigate appointments, medications, physical and mental tiredness, and a lot of stuff. But I too need be grateful. I too need to remember the earth is still spinning and there are others that need my thoughtfulness. I too need to remember to search for those melting, sad, and hidden behind the sofa.